


The Weight of Twenty Five Years

by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, First Time, Humor, M/M, Memories, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-13
Updated: 2009-06-27
Packaged: 2017-10-04 08:15:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penbrydd/pseuds/Ywain%20Penbrydd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Second War, Roddy comes back to the one stable point in his life, and finds that Sev has changed just enough to give him what he's always wanted. Set in an AU where Snape survives Voldemort's attack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** The entire Potterverse and all things in it are the property of the brilliant Ms. Rowling. I own none of these blokes, I just like playing with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Characters:** Rodolphus Lestrange/Severus Snape  
> **Rating:** NC-17  
> **Warnings:** Angst, awkward  
> **Notes:** I've been trying to write this pairing successfully for almost three years. Maybe this time I'll do it.

* * *

He's been trying to get Severus in bed since 1974, and now, nearly twenty-five years after the fact, he's succeeded, but as Roddy looks down at the scarred and aged pale-skinned body beneath him, with something approaching reverence, he finds that he's entirely uncertain where to begin with the man who's been slapping his hands, for two-thirds of their lives. They are nearly forty -- Roddy mere months from it -- and both of them have seen better days. Roddy's been gutted, raped, married, and sent to Azkaban for eleven years. Sev's been burned, poisoned, betrayed, tortured, and left for dead. In the end, it was Roddy who'd saved Sev's life, breaking the bond that had stood between them, those twenty-five years, and marking this moment as that much more meaningful. There were no more obligations. No debts to be paid. This was as clean as things would ever be, between them, and still, Roddy couldn't make that one move.

His hand grazed the air over Sev's chest, never quite reaching skin, almost as though there were a sheet of glass between them. This was what he'd always wanted, and now that Sev was offering, he couldn't accept -- and he didn't know why. Severus looked sceptically up at him, and he faked a smile, in return, as if he were only playing. In truth, he couldn't close the gap.

Finally, after minutes of torment, Severus reached up and pulled Roddy's hand down, the last half-centimetre, pressing the Irishman's warm fingertips against his cold skin. That contact broke the spell. That was all the sign Roddy needed to know that Sev meant it, this time. That image of their hands together, against Sev's sickly-white skin would be burned into his mind, until the day he died.

Roddy laid his forehead against Sev's breastbone. "I have always loved you, Severus."

"Liar." Sev's voice was amused. "You feared me, first."

"Ass." Roddy muttered against his chest, pressing a kiss where his forehead had rested, moments before. "You were afraid of me for far longer, you were."

"You were after my virgin sensibilities and my good name!" Severus reminded him, with a sharp poke to the forehead.

"You and your bloody virgin sensibilities. You didn't have a good name. That was half your problem," Roddy teased, pressing an impassioned kiss into Sev's solar plexus. "But, how many of those sensibilities are left to you, now, hm?"

Severus blushed and rolled his eyes. "Most of them."

Roddy just laughed, gently kissing his way down Sev's belly. "I'll have to fix _that _for you, sure I will."

"That may be the last fear I have left," Sev muttered, half in jest, but surely no more than half. "Cure me of that, and I'll have nothing left to fear."

Roddy looked up into his eyes, then, and saw the flame of triumph. This was a man who'd been to hell and back, primarily to save his friends from that fate, and here he lay, facing his last challenge -- one, honestly, that most of his friends had already tasted and been quite pleased with. This was the regal bearing that Roddy had so rarely seen expressed, and had always been thrilled by. Unable to resist, he drew back up the length of Sev's lean form, in one graceful transition, and leaned in to steal a gentle kiss from his lips.

He twitched at the unexpected feeling of Sev's icy-cold fingertips against his face, but as he turned toward them, they smoothed across his lips, and he kissed each in turn. Roddy looked down at Sev, uncertain, again, but the uncertainty vanished as Sev's hand drew him in for another kiss. He moaned softly as the cold lips parted easily to his tongue. Severus was a lousy kisser, and neither of them tasted like parsley and fresh mint, but this kiss would always be more memorable than Roddy's first -- perhaps twice so, since the Dementors seemed to have made off with that first one... Sev's other hand skipped across Roddy's chest, fingertips and palm striking at random as he skimmed for the edges, for something to hold on to.

Roddy pushed the hand down against his hip, where the hollow of Sev's palm moulded perfectly around the sharp bone, spurring a deep, long moan from the former Potions master. Roddy very nearly melted into a witless pool of goo, on the spot. Even in his dreams, he'd never imagined Sev making a sound like that, and certainly not over something so simple. His palm traced heavily down the far side of Sev's body, stopping to caress the hip -- thumb-strokes and palm-grinds, the rough catch of Roddy's short nails. He felt Sev's thigh tense and the hip twitch that followed. When he pressed, Sev pressed back, and still the kiss persisted.

At last, Roddy broke away, spurring a gasp from Sev, followed by a small disappointed sound that fluttered into a heated groan as Roddy nibbled and sucked his way down Sev's neck. As Roddy finally stopped grinding his teeth against the juncture of neck and shoulder, pulling back with a small, teasing lick, Sev spoke again.

"Is that going to leave a mark?" It was a dampened version of the tone he used on his students, and he eyed Roddy slyly, as best he could, given their relative positions.

Roddy pulled back a little further, to make the looking easier. "Only if you want it to," he offered.

"I don't suppose it matters. There's no one to see it anymore, but you and Lucky." And that thought actually _hurt_. Sev draped an arm over Roddy's back, fingers oddly tight.

Roddy's hand slid back up Sev's body, pulling at his side, and as Sev got the hint, he rolled into Roddy's embrace. "The war is over, Severus. It's over and we're still here. Twice-damned if it wasn't touch-and-go for a bit there, but you're here, and I'm still with you." He rested his chin against the top of Sev's head -- significantly more awkward, now that Sev was taller than him, by a couple of inches. "If you hadn't made it, the world would have a record of one more reason Lestranges die young."

"Don't -- don't say things like that, Roddy. Just don't." Sev's arms tightened, and he started to shake. "You're supposed to outlive me, you airheaded tramp."

Roddy held Sev a little closer, turning his head to press his lips to the crown of Sev's head. "Well, at this rate, we'll die in each other's arms. Like as not, of fractured ribs and punctured lungs."

"Sorry," Sev muttered, loosening his grip a bit. "No sense in killing you, if I'm grateful you're alive."

"Thank you, dear. I'm sure your mercy will go down in history." Roddy reached down and pulled up the heavy, down blanket, covering them both. "Now, do stop freezing your ass off. You're making me cold, you are."

Sev's tongue was wedged firmly into his cheek as he deadpanned, "Aren't I supposed to be making you hot?"

What started as a snicker evolved into full-blown gales of laughter, and Roddy nearly rolled off the bed, cackling. "I always said it was the mouth I liked you for."

With that, Severus brought his cold nose up under Roddy's upraised chin, and kissed his way down the Irishman's neck. Roddy teetered at the edge of the bed for a moment, but swiftly regained his balance and his prurient interest, as Sev's tongue lapped at the notch in his collarbone. Struggling to remember what he was doing, Roddy grabbed Sev's shoulders and forced him back a foot.

"You're going to have us on the floor, if you're not careful." Roddy reached down and pulled the blankets back up -- off the floor behind him, this time -- and then ran his hands along the length of Sev's body, beneath them.

"Thank you. I think I would prefer the bed, this first time." Sev's voice was bone dry, but strained, as Roddy's hands continued their exploration of his flesh. He squeezed Roddy's ankle bone with his toes, before returning his palm to the sharp hip it had occupied before. As Roddy's thigh parted his legs, he curled his own leg around it, possessively. Roddy had always belonged to him, and even now, without a reason, it still seemed true. But, that was a lie -- there was a reason. This time, Roddy had given himself, freely. That was what finally loosed his last resistance -- that there would be no mistakes about intention versus obligation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** Angst, awkward, smut  
> **Notes:** There's a nifty little quirk, here, that shouldn't go unattributed. I'd like to thank Kentifyr, for that one, but I'll leave you to guess the what and the why.  
> 

* * *

Roddy pressed his lips to Sev's chin, recounting, in a whisper, all the times before. "You were always wearing clothes -- usually, so was I -- but this is the part when you tell me you're not drunk enough for this, and you'll have alcohol poisoning before you ever get that way." He nipped at Sev's lip and looked straight into those cold, grey eyes. "You going to do it again? Do you need me to go get you the whiskey? You're oddly sober, tonight."

Spots of colour flared high on Sev's cheeks, as his hand leapt up to the middle of Roddy's back, pulling him forward. "If you get out of this bed, Rodolphus, I swear on Merlin's balls, I will kick you directly down the stairs."

"Then let me assure you, dear Severus, that the only reason I would _get_ out of this bed, right now, would be to get right back into it -- just to reassure myself I'm not dreaming," Roddy laughed, fingers playing over an old scar on Sev's hip. "Bella gave you this one, didn't she? I remember it. Opened you up with my knife, in the corner of the pub."

"It was because she thought I was cheating on her. With you, I might add." Severus smiled -- an appalling sight, really, but one that made Roddy's heart flutter. "And all those years, it was _you_ trying to cheat on her with _me_ \-- and _successfully_ cheating on her with half the population of England and Ireland. I would almost feel bad for her, if she'd been anyone else. As it stands, she's lucky I didn't leave her dead in a ditch."

"Thank you for not killing my wife, Severus. I was using that, I was." Roddy lifted the blanket and ducked under it, sliding downward amid Sev's protests and sounds of utter confusion. All the sound stopped in a single gasp as Roddy's tongue caressed the line of the scar. "I always wanted to kiss this better."

Sev failed to make entire words, stuttering and gasping as Roddy's teeth and tongue caressed the jutting edge of his hip. His fingers clutched at Roddy's hair as the Irishman's thumb pressed into the top of his inner thigh, a delicious counterpoint to the teeth against his opposite hip. He offered no resistance, as Roddy pushed him onto his back and straddled his legs, slowly kissing his way back up Sev's lean belly and chest. By the time Roddy was staring down into his eyes, again, sleekly poised over his reclined form, there was only one point of contact between their bodies, and Sev tried very hard not to think about it, for fear of losing his nerve. All the same, Roddy was beautiful, just as he always had been, and he would be for far longer than Sev could maintain even the cold promise of a Wizard's middle-age. And Sev could feel the heat from him -- twenty-five years of unsatisfied lust -- and wondered how anyone could keep focus, that long, on someone who never said yes.

"Roddy, ask me like you always do."

"Do you want me to stop?" Roddy's eyes looked concerned -- which was a neat trick that had taken a lot of practice, since one of them was glass.

"No, I don't. I want you to kiss me." Sev tugged gently at his hair, and Roddy shifted carefully, adjusting his weight just so, keeping the single point of contact and adding only one more, as their lips touched.

Sev's lips parted, and his world spun as Roddy claimed his mouth, again. He felt a heat spread through him from the base of his spine, and a warm shudder followed it up, bringing his attention to the tiny, wet smear where Roddy's flesh brushed against the bowl of his hips. Sev's attention was brought suddenly and firmly to the recollection that, for all his beauty, lust, and soft skin, Roddy was unmistakably male. His mind rebelled, telling him to stop, deriding him for falling victim to another sick weakness. But, he pushed it all aside. This was Roddy, and he loved Roddy. They'd been stepping around each other for a quarter of a century because Sev hated to be touched. Even Bella hadn't gotten quite this far with him, and she'd gotten farther than anyone, to this point. He lifted his hands, sliding them over Roddy's back, focusing on the feel of skin on skin, the shape of the bones beneath. Stretching his hands farther, he stroked his thumbs along the lines where Roddy's thighs joined his hips, and the slim body above him twisted as Roddy nearly lost his balance.

Roddy pulled his knees up, breaking the kiss, and gazing amusedly down at Sev, from a Sphinx-like pose. He sucked one of his own fingertips, as Sev's hands slid up his thighs, and then up again to cradle the points of his hips. The finger slipped from betwixt his lips with a practised faint pop, glistening wet.

"May I...?" he asked teasingly.

"Yes, of course," Sev snapped, impatiently. "I wouldn't know how to lead, but you know I'm quick enough to follow."

"Patience is a virtue, Severus." Roddy tapped him lightly on the nose with the wet fingertip.

"Yes, it is. And you can stop being patient, now, Roddy." Severus closed his eyes and let his hand move by memory, one finger tracing the length of Roddy's cock, as he tried his best to bend his mind around the idea. Above him, he heard Roddy's breath shorten. "I will give you what you always wanted. And I'll tell you no one else has ruined it for you, either. No hands but my own."

Roddy made a strangled sound, at that pronouncement, taking a few seconds to re-settle his wits before proceeding. "So, I would be the first to do this?" he asked, wetting his fingertip, again, and circling the tip of Sev's cock with it.

"Yes..." Sev moaned, before clarifying. "The first. The only. Please, do it again!"

"All these years you've waited, and you tease me about it?" Roddy joked, voice tight and cracking. A tear slipped out of his good eye, splashing against Sev's chest. Unable to pass up a brilliant opportunity, he dipped his finger in it, and complied with Sev's request, watching colour bloom across his old friend's skin as he fingered the slit with his tears.

"I thought I was waiting for someone _else_," Sev ground out, failing to look entirely sulky.

"Hm, yes, her loss. My gain." Roddy looked perfectly philosophical as he pushed himself back along the bed and lowered his mouth to Sev's crotch. "Your gain," he breathed against the base of Sev's cock, and chuckled as one hand leapt to his hair and the other scrabbled at the bedsheets.

As Roddy's tongue traced the half-hard length of his cock, Sev suddenly half sat up, propping himself on his elbow and jerking Roddy's head back by the hair. "No! No... Come back up here."

Confused and rubbing his head, Roddy complied. _First time anyone's done _that, he thought. "You alright?" he asked.

"Yes. Fine." Severus reached out and stroked Roddy's cheek. "My memory's longer than yours, these days. Just take my word when I say I can't watch you do that, right now."

Roddy turned his head and kissed Sev's palm. "I trust you. Just show me what you want."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** More angst than ever before, possible severe context failures. I'm willing to answer any requests for further context, as a great lot of it dates back to some years-old RP.  
> **Notes:** This part isn't finished, but I'm putting up what I've got for one reader, in particular. I had intended to beat 1500 words with this chapter, but I'm stuck, like I always get with these two, so you get a half-length chapter three.

* * *

Severus reached out and caught Roddy's arm, pulling him closer, and after some comic failures, dragging Roddy onto himself. "You're warm," was his only excuse, and with it, he laid back down, fully, and raised his hand to the blind side of Roddy's face. "Your left," he warned, before stroking that cheek.

Roddy straightened out the tangle of legs, setting his knees at Sev's hips, again, before lowering himself across Sev's chest like a very large cat. He crossed his arms and nuzzled Sev's nose. "If you're just going to pet me, I can live with that."

"It's a twisted sense of humour you have, Roddy." Severus looked terribly uncomfortable. "I just like you better where I can look up and see you. I sound like a damn fool, but I can't let myself forget what's happening. I can't let my memory change what I'm about to do. I need you to be you -- to _stay _you. I need this not to be another nightmare. I'm afraid I've never woken up..."

He looked away, but not so quickly that Roddy couldn't see the fear in his eyes.

"You dreamed _this _while you were half-dead? I'm not sure if I should be amused or bothered. I promise you're up, this time. I'd know it if you were still out." Roddy reached out and turned Sev's face toward him, again. "If you need to be sure I'm me, then you should be looking. What are you so afraid I'll become?"

"Bella... or _Him_. It all moved so fast. It was so real, and none of it was true." Sev folded his arms, tucking his hands into his armpits. "I need you to be real, Roddy. I just need you."

"Merlin's balls, if I don't know why you pulled all that trickery in my head, back in '79. I thought it was me -- thought I was weak, but that's not it at all, is it? You're not taking the whole dying thing too well, yourself." Roddy stretched out, leaning just a bit to the right, to take the weight off Sev's chest. He propped his head in his hand, and rested the other hand on Sev's shoulder. "You've been dead. You touched it and you came back -- and I like to spoil myself thinking you came back for me, I do. I remember the night He made you take the seals off me, and I think of everything that came back with that night, and all I can say is that at least you're not on a murderous rampage."

Half a smile twisted Sev's face, as he gazed disbelievingly up. "They put you in a room with your killer. I don't have that luxury -- mine's already been done for by the Gobshite-Who-Bloody-Well-Lived-And-Had-The-Life-I-Wanted-After. Ghastly little witslight Gryffindor. I guess I do still hold a grudge. Who knew?"

"What, you mean besides me?" Roddy poked him in the nose. "Of course you hold a grudge. His _father_ stole your _wife_. Of course, this all worked to _my_ advantage, but I'm not one to brag... much..."

"Speaking of advantage, weren't you supposed to be taking it of me?" Sev raised both eyebrows, to accent this dry comment, but his hands stayed where they were, betraying some remnant distrust of the situation.

"Oh, it's to be all my job, now, is it? Getting to be a lazy git in your old age?" Roddy teased.

"_My_ old age? You're older than I am," Sev reminded him.

"Yes, but I'm still --" --_beautiful_. Roddy stopped in the middle of the sentence. "That's not fair at all. You've much the face I've always loved, and more, even, since you've learned to wear it. You did that while I wasn't looking, you sneaky git."

"No, I didn't. That's the Dementors talking." It was a cheap shot, and one of the only acts of flag-waving Sev's ego would be allowed, that night.

"I tried so hard not to think of you. I didn't want them taking that away from me."

"Shit's sake, stop it. You'll make me cry, and then I'll have to make you sleep on the floor." Sev blinked a few times and finally moved his hands, flicking Roddy in the chest with one finger.

"I can count every time you've cried in front of me on one hand. If you do it again, I'll run out of fingers, and then where will we be?" Roddy tried to pull himself back together, tried to put Azkaban out of his mind.

"Right back where we started." Sev moved Roddy's hand onto his chest, holding it there. "I believe this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you to stop talking and kiss me."

"Blood and bones, I missed you." Roddy shifted his weight, wrapping one arm around Sev's waist and squeezed the other hand between his head and the pillow, pulling Severus into a passionately possessive kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** Smut, flashbacks, angst  
> **Notes:** Here we get some flashback angst about Lily, and some more about Lucius, and Severus learns something he probably could have done without.  
> 

* * *

Severus had never felt so warm, so wanted. It was like returning to a home he'd forgotten he had. His hands slid over Roddy's back, pulling the man even more tightly against him. This, then, was what love was meant to be -- and he'd been right all along; he had loved Lily, but unlike Roddy, she'd never gotten over the fear of him. That was the real difference, he thought, he had nearly no secrets from Roddy, and the man still loved him without fear. It wasn't simple -- they'd fought, at times it had even come to blows, but under it all, there was that bond. And for a very long time, the bond had been Roddy's life. Now, the tables were turned, and everything had fallen away, but still they came together as they always had.

He realised he was distracted, seconds _after_ it occurred to Roddy. "Am I not distracting enough, that you've got to wander back into your dreams? I thought you were falling asleep, for a few seconds, there," Roddy teased.

"No, I'd been distracted from that thought so long, it couldn't be ignored a moment more. And now that it's sorted, I hope it was the last of those points, for the evening." Sev rolled his eyes, trying to look more annoyed than he felt.

"Well, let me put some other points in your head," Roddy purred, flipping his hair back over his shoulder to lean closer to Sev's ear. "I never minded that you owned me, when you did. You never asked anything of me; you kept me safe. And now that I'm free of you, I want nothing more than to have you claim me with your eyes wide open. A different stake, this time. I want you to turn me like Lucky used to, when I wanted to stop thinking of _you_. You wouldn't have seen the way it went, over that fence, behind the pub, but he wouldn't stop until it was your name I screamed, instead of his."

Severus turned colours. "I know. I was there. Only the once, though."

"You --" Roddy sputtered witlessly for a few moments. "I don't -- We didn't -- I never meant you to see that."

"I know. You'd never do that to me, intentionally." Sev stroked the curve of Roddy's lower back. "I went to apologise, and came back with an eyeful. I remember how broken you looked. You put on a good show for Lucky, but he couldn't see your face, like I could."

"That was the night you went home without us, wasn't it. We came back in to the note on the napkin -- 'Sorry. Early morning.'" Roddy moved, to look at Sev's face, but Sev held him still. "You left because you _saw us_."

"I left because I couldn't look at you. I just remember the last of it, so clearly. Lucky said something cruel -- I couldn't hear it, but I know his voice. And then, a few minutes later, you were screaming against the fence, with your face between your hands, and he just kept on. And then I watched your knees go, and he was holding you up, and I realised you were pleading with him for more, but it was my name on your lips." His hands were cold, and they grew colder against Roddy's back as he spoke. "I had to go. I didn't know what to do with any of it. Spent three days in bed."

"For the record, when you go that long, it really, really starts to hurt. That's all the screaming was -- I was doing it to myself. Just couldn't get done." Roddy's voice was light and slightly apologetic. "I can only imagine what it must have looked like to you. And then to find me like you did in '79. Blood and bones, but I'm sorry."

"The more you talk, the less I understand why you keep having sex." Sev rubbed his nose against Roddy's shoulder, trying to warm his face a bit. "You do something that gives you screaming pains _for fun_? I'm not seeing the appeal."

"It's not all screaming, and not all the screaming is _bad_, it's not." Roddy twisted around to loosen Sev's grip, and looked down at him. "I'll show you what the good kind of screaming looks like, if you'll stop getting distracted by things that are over and done."

"Well, you _are_ supposed to be my distraction, tonight, and it _has_ all been about you..." A half-smile crept across Sev's face.

"You say the sweetest things, you old crotchet." Roddy nuzzled Sev's nose. "But, I think I was about to invite you to violate your lifelong celibacy, before you got me after the old pub nights."

There was something in the phrasing that hit Sev hard. He felt the crackling rush race through his body, stirring his cock and leaving his fingers and toes with an electrified tingle. He looked up at Roddy, heated surprise etched into his face.

"I want you." His voice resonated with awe. "Right now."

A shiver ran down Roddy's spine, and his back arched. "Merlin's own..." he muttered. "Say it again, Severus. Say it, and show me you mean it."

Sev moved one hand, gently tracing the curve of Roddy's ribs, waist, hip... Finally, his hand settled, cupping Roddy's ass.

"I want you. Now." His fingers tightened, pressing hard into Roddy's skin. "I want you, like I've never wanted anything in my life."

Roddy groaned and twisted prettily, displaying his neck, raising his ass just a little higher. A moment later, good sense caught up with him, and he leaned over the side of the bed. "You, sir, are the one who knocked the blankets off, and now, thank you much, that bottle I keep beside the bed has rolled off to Auntie's gods know where."

Severus blinked, allowing the droll flavour of the moment to collect, before he put out his hand. "Accio Roddy's bedside bottle."

Rolling his eyes, Roddy snatched the bottle as soon as it touched Sev's palm. "Show-off."

"Just because I ... I..." Sev trailed off, mid-sentence, as Roddy's slicked hand closed around his cock.

"Is that all it takes to shut you up? Sure I should have tried it years ago." Roddy set the bottle on the floor, again, and tossed the blankets to the other side of the bed.

Severus couldn't even manage to look sulky, as Roddy's hand slid over the one part of his body that could be called anything but cold. It was so good -- so damnably perfect -- that all of his senses were waiting for the other shoe to drop. That was the way it played, when he was dead. Roddy would come to him, kiss him and touch him, and then he'd be full of Bella's hot hands, tearing his insides out. But, this time, Roddy had promised he was awake. This time, Roddy's hands hadn't faded away, and the way those warm fingers felt on him was even better than he'd dreamed.

Sev touched himself for a moment, slicking his own fingertips, before he reached out to run a finger down the length of Roddy's cock. The move was unexpected, and Roddy arched and moaned, spreading his knees farther, lowering his hips until he nearly touched his own hand. A bead of translucent liquid formed and fell, only to be caught on a finger of Sev's dry hand. He held it up, gazing at it for a moment, before he licked his finger clean.

"I had always wondered, and now I know. That's a hideous texture." Sev looked slightly dismayed, and Roddy just laughed. "The taste isn't bad, though."

Roddy had turned red, fighting down the worst of the bout of sheer hysterical laughter that threatened to overcome him. "One of these days, Sev, I'm going to die laughing, and it's going to be your fault, it is."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings:** The internet is for what? Oh, right, PORN.  
> **Notes:** HAHAHAHA. I finished it. And I think it's middling fair IC all the way through. My good god, you would not believe the arguments I had trying to get Severus through this last damnable scene.  
> 

* * *

Roddy thumbed Sev's cock, just to keep the poor potions master's mind on the subject at hand. His own mind was brought snappingly back on topic by the flush across Sev's chest and the pleading sound that echoed from his throat. One hand clenched, as that sound resonated through Roddy's ears, buckling the lean muscle of Sev's chest, leaving faint marks behind, in the skin.

Severus froze still, looking to Roddy for a clue. Did the strangely delicious pain in his chest mean he'd done something wrong? Roddy just panted, softly and stroked him faster, with one hand, the other hand catching Sev's nipple between the thumb and a knuckle. _That_, as far as Severus could tell, meant he'd done something _right_. He reached out, again, fingertips grazing the head of Roddy's cock. This was the man he loved, he reminded himself, and he would learn to appreciate the innate maleness of his lover. He already loved the man -- that part took no thought at all -- and he would learn to love the cock, as well.

With a surprised gasp and an appreciative purr, Roddy tipped his hips, offering himself, and was deeply satisfied when Sev's fingers stroked him more surely. He could feel the blood pulling out of his fingertips as he leaned back, lightheaded, lips spilling impassioned pleas he couldn't quite comprehend through the haze of lust that dampened his wits. But, Roddy's fingers showed him how well Sev understood, passing along every twitch and throb of the cock that lay in their grasp.

Rising up on his knees, Roddy held Sev's cock straight up, under him. "I need you to be still for a little bit. Just breathe, and think about breathing."

Severus nodded, confused, but the confusion vanished in a flash as Roddy slowly began to lower himself onto Sev's cock. The tightness and heat were completely unexpected, and he turned his chin up, panting through his clenched teeth, as Roddy slid farther down, moment by moment. Roddy wasn't silent, either, groaning, softly, as Severus slid up into his body, a centimetre at a time, rubbing him in all the right places. Finally, his ass settled against Sev's balls, and he could breathe, again, if a little stiffly. There was a bit more of Sev than even he had anticipated, and he'd been calculating for a quarter century.

Catching his breath, Roddy leaned forward, catching one of Sev's shoulders in each hand. Sev's normally cold grey eyes looked hot enough to throw sparks, as Roddy stole a fast and needy kiss that left him panting.

"Move," Roddy commanded, eyes alight, almost a feral expression of glee on his face. "Fuck me."

It was Roddy who began to move first, grinding down, as Severus struggled to work out the physics involved, and where to put his feet to make it work. Finally, Severus gave up, pressing himself down against the bed, and letting the springs return him to Roddy. His hips rolled clumsily, at first, but grew steadier as he learned to follow Roddy's lead and found the ideal tangents in their arcs of motion. The world spun. He saw stars. If such a thing were possible, Severus would insist that Roddy had become implausibly beautiful -- not that he hadn't been the image of androgynous pulchritude before that moment, but looking up along his slim body, Severus became convinced that Roddy was _glowing_. It was likely an illusion, but Severus couldn't bring himself to care. His heart raced, and his hands tightened around Roddy's hips.

With a small sound of shocked dismay, like a man who's dropped a crystal bowl, Severus thrust, breaking the rhythm, as he emptied himself into Roddy. His mind skittered witlessly across a variety of related topics: _Now what? This only happens in the parts of books I skip over -- I've never done this with anyone watching -- What if I've done it wrong..._ But, any concerns he'd had were swept away as Roddy shifted position, on top of him, with a low groan.

"Yes..." Roddy hissed, wrapping a hand around his own cock as he pressed his lips to Sev's.

Severus laid back in a lazily stunned haze, as Roddy tightened around him. He rolled his hips, slowly, keeping maybe a third of Roddy's desperate pace, and letting the small, pleading sounds that spilled from the redhead's mouth soften the damage he'd just done to his own ego. Of course, the dim softness of his wits, brought on by the exertion and a whole lot of breathing used air, was enough to wash most of the embarrassment away, all he could really think of was how beautiful Roddy looked and the fact that his fingers and toes tingled in the most pleasant way.

Suddenly, Roddy's body tightened, back arching, fingers digging into Sev's shoulder. He was nearly soundless as he spilled across Severus's chest, and he froze in position, carefully supporting himself just above the mess, as he panted.

"Thank you," he whispered in Sev's ear, kissing his cheek, trying not to ask for what finally slipped past his lips. "Tell me you'll have me. Is it just this once to shut me up, or...? I'm sorry. Forget I asked."

"Roddy, get a towel before we have a mess," Severus muttered, not quite avoiding the question.

As the Irishman rose, pushing back the blankets, and then stood, Severus watched the weight of Roddy's years settle onto him for the first time in their lives. Cursing under his breath, Severus sat up, trying to keep the spatters on his body and off the sheets.

"Merlin's bloody balls, Roddy. It's a stupid question. It's a question you already know the answer to." Severus sounded pained, in that way he usually did when talking to a stupid student. "Did you think for a minute that I'd walk away, just because I'm not _responsible_ for you, any more? I thought you were the _smart_ one, of the three of us."

Roddy threw the towel at his head. "I don't know, Sev. I wasn't sure you bled blood until I found it all over the floor. Do I ask things I know the answer to?"

Severus attempted to clean himself off with the towel, before realising that colloids don't absorb like liquids do. He did his best and tossed the towel on the floor, holding his hand out to Roddy.

"Yes, you do. I can count multiple occasions off the top of my head, and I'm _exhausted_. Come back over here and stop being dramatic." He laid back on one elbow, hand still extended.

"I wish I had a camera, I do," Roddy giggled. "You look like Maitiu."

"Ass." Severus picked up the towel and threw it at Roddy, as he dragged the covers over himself.

Roddy batted the towel aside and dove onto the bed, wrestling some of the blankets away from Sev, to get under them. "You never answered my question."

"Yes, Roddy, you're mine. You're no less mine than the nose on my face." He poked Roddy in the shoulder, before rolling over and burying his face in the pillow, muttering something that might've contained the words "gobshite", "cockwitted", "dishonour", and "doubted me".

Roddy wrapped himself around Severus's back, relaxing into the youth he had neglected to enjoy while he'd lived it.


End file.
